You’re in a meeting. So are they. Over there. Lurking. They’re disagreeing with your points. What a surprise. While their points might be valid, the red mist is descending, you’re not listening anymore. This is just SO damn hard. But why?

‘because I don’t like them’

We have all met someone we just don’t like. It can be for a variety of different reasons. It might be their personality, the way they behave at work, or a quirky thing about them that made you cry out internally ‘that’s an immediate no from me!’

Whether you are in your job, the school gates or meeting new neighbours you’re most likely going to run into people you don’t like. It’s a fact of life that we all need to learn to live with.

What we suggest is adding to your personal toolkit some skills to help you survive when you cannot simply escape.

We’d like to share 5 tips with you that we think can help you learn to like (or at least tolerate discretely) someone you don’t like.

1. Don’t let your dislike become your disrespect

Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean you have a right to disrespect them.

Unfortunately this happens a lot, from even the most mild mannered people. Dislike can cause us to irrationally write someone off and our brains look for reasons to do this more. When we see them we begin to create a picture of someone who can do no right, and who has no redeeming features…and this can cause respect to be lost.

We suggest spotting this one early and nipping it in the bud. Learn to apply a game face and show respect at all times, even if just for the fact that it reflects well on you as an individual and a professional.

2. Get into their shoes

No literally, obviously. Try to force a new persective. What does this look and feel like from their side of the fence?

It’s really easy to dislike people we don’t understand because out instincts from thousands of years ago tell us to distrust what we don’t know.

We want you to try developing empathy for this person and how they behave. This doesn’t mean you now have to agree with everything they say and do, but it should help you to disagree well, and focus on the point in hand, not the individual. We constantly remind our clients during our BRAVE program of 2 key points.

1. Disagreement is not dislike and 2. Debate the idea, not the person.

3. Keep the right amount of distance

This one seems simple but often gets forgotten. If you don’t like someone then do you best to keep the right amount of professional distance. We say the ‘right amount’ because this is key.

It’s a little like Goldilocks and her porridge temperature. It needs to be just right.

Don’t completely avoid, ignore or blank from your life and vocabulary. It’s too obvious.

Aim for some simple hello’s and how are you’s, in the right meetings and whilst passing in corridors or on virtual screens. Put some thought instead into avoiding situations that are easier to manipulate and don’t make you look bad for not being there instead. Be authentic, be you, be respectful but don’t fake it too much.

4. Let it go, let it go…

As we said already, people dislike others for lots of reasons.

If yours relates to something that person said or did, then we’re sorry, but whilst you work together you’re going to have to be the bigger person and do like Elsa in Frozen and just let it go.

Whilst this might seem completely impossible you have to recognise that having bad feelings towards them will undoubtedly come through in your behaviour towards them, no matter how hard you try not to.

We’re not suggesting you become work best friends and start hair-braiding each other at lunch, but in order to maintain that professional behaviour you need to find a way to forgive what they have done, in order to help you better mask your dislike.

5. Take a reality check

The reality of this situation, playing out in businesses all around the world, is that sometimes, it’s just the way it is. It is very rare for anyone to like everyone. We just need to deal with it.

Using some of the tips we’ve suggested above will help but there’s a part of you that first has to take that reality check and remind yourself that its ok to not like someone, and for them to not like you. It’s just not realistic to expect that to be the case. And yet, when we are at work, it does feel that we are expected to do just that!

We have found that reminding ourselves that no-one, including us, is perfect. It’s a physical impossibility and a myth. Everyone has flaws and everyone has strengths. We’ll often try to think about one of our own flaws, and strengths and then apply it back. If you have them and that’s ok, then it’s ok for ohers to have them too, right?

By trying to accept that, and realising that you may also be disliked by someone at this very moment without even knowing it might help you dial down the dislike for someone else.

Our BRAVE Disagree sessions cover all this, and much much more aiming to provide real change for you and your business. If this has peaked your interest, then please get in touch. We’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever wanted to release your superpowers and let that inner entrepreneur out?

We want to share some of the key skills we think you need to let that tiger out of its cage!

Welcome to the exciting world of entrepreneurship, where creativity, innovation, and a touch of magic come together!

Can you juggle?

As an entrepreneur, you’ll find yourself juggling multiple tasks simultaneously. From managing finances to marketing your product, the ability to multitask is key. But fear not! With a few circus-worthy juggling skills (metaphorically speaking, of course), you’ll have no trouble keeping all those balls in the air. Think planning tools, software, focus and dedication.

Can you network like a Ninja?

Networking is the secret sauce to success in the entrepreneurial world. Whether it’s attending conferences, joining industry events, or even striking up conversations at the local coffee shop, channel your inner social ninja. Master the art of connecting with people, building relationships, and expanding your network. Who knows, your next big opportunity might be just a handshake (physical or virtual) away!

Can you make the magic happen?

In the ever-evolving business landscape, creativity is your superpower. Embrace your inner magician and conjure up innovative ideas that set you apart from the crowd. Think outside the box, push boundaries, and let your imagination run wild. After all, it’s the entrepreneurs with the quirkiest ideas who often make the biggest waves.

Can you get your flex on?

Being an entrepreneur is sometimes like performing a perpetual gymnastics routine. You’ll encounter unexpected twists, turns, and somersaults along the way. The key is to stay flexible and adapt to the ever-changing environment. Be ready to pivot, adjust your strategy, and ace that graceful landing even when the routine changes unexpectedly.

Can you make friends with failure?

Ah, the dreaded F-word! No, not that one. We mean Failure. But fear not, fellow entrepreneurs! Failure is not the end but rather a stepping stone to success. Embrace it, learn from it, and allow it to fuel your determination. Remember, every failure brings you closer to that one glorious victory.

Can you supercharge your own leanring?

The journey of entrepreneurship is a never-ending quest for knowledge. Develop a voracious appetite for learning and keep those brain cells firing. Read books, attend workshops, follow industry trends, and continuously seek new information. The more you know, the more you can grow. At We Are BRAVE we can help you with a course, a module, 121 coaching or even an entire program to super charge your journey.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Last but certainly not least, a good sense of humour is your secret weapon. Laugh off the occasional blunders, find joy in the challenges, and maintain a light-hearted approach to what you are trying to do. A chuckle here and there can help you navigate the ups and downs of entrepreneurship with a smile on your face.

Becoming a modern-day entrepreneur can be a thrilling adventure filled with endless possibilities. Embrace the skills we’ve listed above and store them in your entrepreneurial toolbox. That should leave you well-equipped to conquer the business world and create your own success story.

In our daily lives, we’re constantly faced with numerous decisions, big and small. Some choices are straightforward, while others, particularly in business are complex and require careful consideration.

When you’re confronted with your options, it’s crucial to recognise that making the right decision, rather than settling for the first or easiest one, can pave the way for progress and personal growth. As our saying goes, “All progress begins with a brave decision.” Let’s delve a little deeper into why the path to success with BRAVE lies in choosing wisely.

Quality Over Ease

Often, the initial decision that comes to mind seems convenient, requiring little effort or contemplation. However, embracing the first or easiest choice doesn’t guarantee the best outcome. In fact, it may lead to missed opportunities and more work later down the line.

“All progress begins with a brave decision.”

Exploring Alternatives

When we take the time to explore alternatives and consider various perspectives, we open ourselves up to a broader range of possibilities. By examining different options and potential outcomes, we gain a deeper understanding of the situation at hand. This process allows us to make informed choices based on reason and logic, rather than impulsivity or convenience. Giving yourself time, to think about your thinking is a powerful aid in decision making.

Challenging Growth

Choosing the right decision often involves stepping outside your comfort zones and confronting uncertainty. It requires bravery to take the path that might seem unfamiliar or challenging. However, it is precisely these brave decisions that change the game. When we embrace difficult choices, we learn valuable lessons, acquire new skills, and develop a resilience that contributes to our progress in the long run.

Avoiding Regret

The consequences of settling for the first or easiest decision can lead to regret down the line. If you make choices solely for convenience, or to avoid disagreement or conflict, you may find yourself wondering “what if” and wishing you had taken a different path. Regret can really hinder your ability to move forward with a decision and achieve your goal. On the other hand, making the right decision, even if it requires more effort or bravery, can bring us a sense of satisfaction and the bonus is your skill level is also increasing.

What we Think

The art of decision-making lies not in the quick and easy options, but in the courage to make the BRAVE choice. By embracing the unknown, exploring alternatives, and challenging our comfort zones, we unlock the potential for progress and personal growth. By Thinking about your Thinking, Speaking Up and Disagreeing Well you’ll be bale to make not just the right decision, but the BRAVE one.

You can talk to us to get an initial understanding of how the team at We Are BRAVE can help you and your teams.

We’d love to hear from you.

Sara

So, what is a conscious thought?

When you become ‘consciously’ aware of something you will notice it and realise it’s happening: this is the definition of a conscious thought.

In our SPEAK programme we share principles to help guide you to success. One of these is Think Consciously, Do It On Purpose.

Here’s a great example of thinking consciously. As a child, when you learn something new like how to ride a bike, you become consciously aware of the process and engage with it. Every time you topple over, scuff the front of your trainers, lose control of the handlebars or fall off and graze your knee you simply get back up and keep going. Why?

Because the thought of being able to gain your freedom, being with your friends on their bikes, cycling with the wind rushing through your hair is so compelling that you persevere through every wobble or fall, you get back up and have another go. You persevere because the outcome will feel great.

Before you know it you are a bike rider, and you hop on without a second thought, free to ride anywhere you like. You build your skills; you go faster and you test your limits.

Skip forward to the future and even if you haven’t ridden a bike for years you can jump on and you suddenly experience an automatic thought process that says ‘I can do this, its familiar, I can ride a bike’.
Your conscious thoughts back then, as a child that engaged in learning a new skill, gave the future you a helpful habit. This skill became so ingrained you’re now on full auto-pilot. You don’t need to think about how you do it, you just do it.

Now it’s time to start that journey and build another habit. This time, with your thinking.

Our programmes help you learn to understand the importance of being aware of your thinking and why when you think consciously and do it on purpose, you’ll get far closer to the results you need.
Imagine the communication and decision-making powers you can implement when you know you’re thinking clearly and with intention.

By using structure and tools, we can help you to challenge your old way of approaching topics and avoid the pitfalls such as group-think and bias. It’s those pitfalls that keep us stuck or at worst, lead us to faulty decision-making. Unlocking your thinking will help you unlock innovation.

When you think differently, new ideas and solutions can take shape.

The great news is we are all capable of doing this. How do we know that? Because it’s the ability to think differently that took you from riding your bike with stabilisers to the moment when you realise you can let go of the handle-bars and shout “look, no hands!”.

What we do know is that learning to spot and be aware of your thoughts requires some attention and discipline but in any situation it will help you to think better. With the same determination you applied as a child eventually thinking consciously and on purpose will become your powerful default setting.

Talk to us to learn more about the 8 principles that are embedded into our BRAVE programme

Healthy disagreement is an important part of any work or personal relationship. And yet, it’s much rarer than you think.

Disagreement often has negative connotations but in fact it’s entirely natural for people to have different perspectives and opinions, and the ability to disagree well is key to resolving conflicts and finding common ground.

One of the most important principles of healthy disagreement is our principle of ‘debating the idea, not the person’. When we engage in a discussion or debate it’s important to focus on the idea being presented rather than attacking or criticising the person presenting them. It’s important to be able to separate the two, to reach the best decision or outcome.  

‘Debate the idea, not the person sharing it’

Instead, we should focus on the merits of the debate itself. This means being curious and listening carefully to what the other person is saying – not something that’s always easy.  Start with asking questions to clarify & understand their position first, then present your perspective clearly and calmly.  Even if we don’t agree with someone else’s position, we can still respect them as a person and engage in a productive disagreement! 

Another important aspect of healthy disagreement is the ability to recognise and address our own biases and assumptions.

We all have our own experiences, beliefs and values that shape how we see the world. It’s important to be aware of these biases and to own how they show up in any disagreement.  By actively engaging with different perspectives and viewpoints we broaden our understanding of the world.

Finally, disagreeing well is about being willing to look for and find common ground.  Broadening our understanding of a situation may mean that whilst we don’t always fully agree with the other person we can find ways to work together and find solutions that meet everyone’s needs.  The very act of engaging with healthy disagreement brings  clarity to where we agree and where we may need to work harder to find a middle ground. 

That clarity creates an opportunity for progress and all progress begins with a BRAVE decision. 

You can learn more about BRAVE, our principles and how we can help healthy disagreement prosper in your business by getting in touch today.

Rhi x