If you’ve ever had that moment where you think, “I wish things would just… change,” you’re not alone. Most people wait for circumstances to shift before they do. But here’s the quiet truth that sits underneath every meaningful transformation: change doesn’t start out there.

It starts with your own personal agency.

Personal agency is the belief and practice that you can influence your own life. It’s the sense that your choices matter, your actions have weight, and you’re not just a passenger in your own story. It’s not about control. It’s about authorship.

And in a world that feels increasingly unpredictable, agency isn’t just helpful. It’s grounding.

Why do we think personal agency matters so much?

1. It can turn overwhelm into direction

When life feels chaotic, agency gives you a foothold. You stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and start asking, “What can I do next?” That shift alone changes everything.

2. It helps build resilience

People with strong agency don’t crumble when things get tough. They adapt. They choose their response. They stay connected to their own power, even when the situation isn’t ideal.

3. It boosts confidence

Confidence doesn’t come from knowing you’ll succeed. It comes from trusting you can act. Agency is that trust in motion.

4. It helps unlock growth

When you believe your actions matter, you try more things. You take more risks. You stretch. You learn. You evolve.

5. It often strengthens relationships

Agency isn’t selfish. It’s responsible. When you own your choices, you communicate more clearly, set healthier boundaries, and show up with more integrity.

So, how do you discover, or perhaps, rediscover your personal agency?

Start small, your personal agency grows through your actions, not theory. Pick one thing you can influence today and do it.

Try to notice your language to yourself. Make the shift from “I can’t” to “I could,” from “I have to” to “I choose to.” Words shape reality.

Ask better questions so instead of “Why is this happening?” try “What’s one thing I can do?” or “What’s the next right step?”

Stick to your values. Agency is so much easier when your actions align with what matters to you. Values create your direction.

Celebrate the influence you have. Every time you make a choice that moves you forward, even just a tiny one, be sure to acknowledge it. Your agency grows with each recognition.

Let go of perfection, it simply doesn’t exist. Agency isn’t about making flawless decisions. It’s about intentional ones. Progress beats perfection every time.

The BRAVE truth is this; personal agency is the foundation of every meaningful change. Whether you’re talking work, relationships, leadership or life. When you can find a way to reconnect with your agency, you stop waiting for permission. You stop outsourcing your power and start shaping your world instead of reacting to it.

And the best part? There’s no excuse. You’re not born with it. You need to create and build it, and everyone can do it.

If you think we can help you develop your agency, then get in touch. We’d love to hear from you.

Sara & Rhi

Why your toughest conversations are better spoken.

At We Are Brave we’re trying to help people see that disagreement doesn’t have to mean dislike, and that when you speak up and debate with purpose you improve the outcomes for all. It’s our ethos!

But, in the real world, humans have built a world where disagreement is easy to avoid in person if you want to. No awkward pauses, no raised voices, just a screen and time to think. In 2026, many disagreements happen through messages, emails, or posts, rather than face-to-face.

(Did someone say ‘keyboard warrior’?)

That shift might feel like real progress to some. We can understand why, but the evidence suggests otherwise.

Recent research finds that when disagreeing, speaking with someone versus using written communication makes them more likely to understand you. Burint Bevis and the team from Imperial College London and the University of California, Berkeley would argue that simply changing the conversation medium in which disagreement takes place can have a positve effect on its outcome.

The medium matters more than we think

Across a series of experiments involving more than 1,500 participants, researchers compared conversations between people who disagreed on political and social issues. Some spoke, others wrote.

The pattern was consistent. People who spoke tended to:

• report greater understanding
• experience less conflict
• come away with more favourable impressions of the other person
• show more movement in their views

Those who wrote generally saw weaker versions of these outcomes. The differences are not dramatic in every case, but they are consistent enough to matter.

What speaking does differently

One explanation seems to be something called conversational receptiveness, language that signals openness and a willingness to engage with another person’s point of view.

People appear to use more of this kind of language when they speak. When we dleiver our Speak modules, this is one of the things we cover.

That may be because conversation demands it. Tone, timing, even small hesitations can make it easier to signal interest or acknowledge the other side. Writing, by contrast, can become more controlled and more guarded.

Interestingly, when people do use receptive language in writing, it appears to help. They just tend to do it less often.

People still choose the wrong channel

Despite this, most people say they would choose writing if they expected a disagreement. Only a small minority prefer speaking or video. Researchers suggest this may be because writing feels more manageable. It gives people space to think, edit, and avoid being put on the spot.

That instinct makes sense. It just doesn’t seem to lead to better outcomes.

What this means in practice

The conversations in the study were fairly low stakes, often between strangers, with limited emotional intensity. That leaves open the question of whether the same pattern holds in more personal or heated situations. Even so, the direction is clear.

If your goal is to be understood, and to understand someone else, speaking appears to give you a better chance than typing.

The next time a conversation starts slipping into disagreement, it might feel natural to keep typing….but it might just be worth picking up the phone instead.

If you think we can help you develop your speaking or disagreement skills, then get in touch. I’d love to hear from you.

Rhi Baxter

Credit

If you’re interested in the full paper you can find that here: Spoken disagreement is more constructive than written disagreement | Nature Communications